ahhhhh, do we have too?

Sometimes it is hard to see the forest because of the trees, right? Sometimes you need to change things but just can't seem to make yourself, that is more like it. I had one of those moments yesterday as I told my husband how exhausted I had recently began feeling. We talked about my diet, exercise, mental health, sleep, water intake, vitamins, it had to be biological, something that labs or a doctor could discover maybe. As I was lounging around and watching a movie, something I rarely do as I am a textbook type A personality(always with a mission) I heard someone say that Americans do not know how to enjoy themselves, respectively coming from an Italian in the movie, I laughed and turned to my husband, who while working abroad went to the window where an Italian was working(so he thought) and was told that he was on a break and could help him in 5 minutes. My husband used this as an example of how different the world is outside of America because of course in the states it would just be common place for them to end their break early and help, but at what cost. I never just sit and day dream or lay on the floor with my children and why because my pantry needs to be purged and my cloths need to be washed, I need to buy something on-line or check my e-mail or blah, blah, blah, blah!!!
Suddenly I felt liberated and energized by the thought that I would use my time differently and take time to relax and do something I enjoy, I know, crazy thing how purging cabinets is not considered relaxing. I would read a book, for fun not to learn how to potty train my 2 year old or quickly spring clean. I would quit creating barriers for going outside or playing with my children. Now this may not make me feel less exhausted, I will still be heading to the doctor on that note but it gives me something to start with, which is change. We all know a million different things we should do different in our own lives that indeed would make it more enjoyable but for one reason or another we continue on a road that does not lead us to happiness but rather walks us in circles.
As I ran this morning usually thinking how cold it is in the morning and how 0630 is too early to awake, I rather listened to The Rolling Stones "You Can't Always Get What You Want", it was random that the song came up on my iPod but maybe a sign from the universe telling me to go with flow and quit trying so hard to be in control. I came home nursed my baby and enjoyed looking at her soft blonde hair in my arms. I made my bed, got dress, pinned back my hair, put on make-up, sat down with coffee and wrote this while she played on her mat and my son slept. I made a to do list complete with enjoyable things, not just dreaded chores. My life is so exceptional but without time to stop, relax and enjoy it, it looks basic and drab, which is furthest thing from the truth, for all of us!!!